Is sex addiction real?

Sep 9, 2024 | News | 0 comments

In the second season of the Emmy award winning HBO series, “The White Lotus”; the former-Sopranos actor, Michael Imperioli plays Dominic Di Grasso, a successful Hollywood producer with a sex addiction who has destroyed his marriage by repeatedly cheating on his wife.

It is hard to separate the sexaholic-womaniser character that American actor Charlie Sheen plays in, “Two and a half Men”, from the media’s portrayal of his playboy lifestyle. Fuelled by drug abuse and alcohol addiction, which has got him into no-end of trouble over the years.

Don Draper in Mad Men, Blanche Devereux from the Golden Girls, and the infamous James Bond are all pop culture sex addict icons. It is not just screen star’s that are afflicted, in the real-world, celebrities including Tiger Woods, David Duchovny, and Eric Benet, all entered rehab for sex addiction after getting caught in extra marital affairs.

So, is sex addiction real; a construct of the movie industry; or an excuse for those individualsengaging in promiscuous sexual behaviour, or infidelity within a long-term relationship, who get caught in flagrante delicto?

What is sex addiction?

Yes, sex addiction is very real, and it can have a serious, and even dangerous impact on a person’s life, damaging their relationships, finances, physical and mental health, and reputation. It is described as the compulsive need to perform sexual acts to achieve a “high”or “fix”, similar to that an alcoholic gets from a drink, a drug addict gets from using drugs, or a gambler gets from placing a bet.

Categorised as an emotional intimacy disorder, this addiction is not measured or diagnosed by how much or how often a person participates, but by how the behaviour adversely impacts on the addict or those around them.

Some sex addicts have a compulsive need to perform sexual acts numerous times a day, whilst others will seek out multiple partners. Others still are driven to excessive masturbation or viewing of pornography. For many their compulsion will drive them to change their whole life to be able to participate in sexually stimulating situations, despite the ever-increasing negative consequences.

Which are numerous. Physically, it can result in unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. Legally, illicit sexual activities can lead to criminal prosecutions and convictions. Financially, paying for sex and online porn can cause monetary problems. Relationships will struggle with trust issues, marital difficulties, and often end in separations and divorce.

Emotionally, a sex addict regularly feels guilt, shame, and remorse over their behaviour; yet powerless and hopeless to restrain themselves. This can trigger or exacerbate depression and anxiety, with addicts frequently lonely, isolated, and at times suicidal. In addition, sufferers will regularly turn to substances, self-medicating to numb feelings of self-loathing and disgust, leading to problems with alcoholism and drug abuse.

Symptoms of sex addiction

There is often a lot of deviousness and secrecy present in those suffering with addiction, and addicts are frequently skilled at covering their movements and hiding their condition. However certain symptoms are difficult to completely disguise from close family members and loved ones.

Here are some signs to look out for:

Persistent, obsessive sexual thoughts and fantasies.
Excessive amount of time spent engaging in sexually stimulating activities.
Uncontrollable sexual liaisons with multiple partners, and/or strangers.
Engaging in risky or dangerous sexual behaviour.
Negative consequences as a result (finances, relationships, health).
Lies, secrecy and defensiveness about participation in sexual behaviours.
Neglect of responsibilities because of preoccupation in sexual activity.
Failed attempts to try and limit, control, or stop involvement in sexual behaviour.
Feelings of remorse or guilt, following sexual activity.
Unusual increase in the frequency or intensity of sexual behaviour.
An increase in mental health problems such as anxiety or depression.

It is crucial to remember that liking sex and sexually stimulating activities does not make a person a sex addict, it is a normal healthy endeavour that should be enjoyed. Also, differing levels of sexual interest within a relationship does not mean that one partner has a sex addiction.

Causes of sex addiction

The causes of sex addiction are not fully understood. However, it is thought that they may include one or more of the following factors:

High levels or an imbalance in brain chemicals such as serotonin and dopamine.
Changes in the brain’s neural circuits or pathways.
Medical conditions that affect the brain, including Parkinson’s, dementia, and epilepsy.
A family history of addiction.
Abuse: physical, sexual, or emotional abuse as a child or adolescent.
A response to trauma or extreme stress.

Sex addiction is more common in men than women. On average onset starts around 18 years of age, with sufferers generally waiting until mid to late 30’s before seeking professional help. It is suspected that over 75% of individuals presenting with sex addiction will have a history of other mental health conditions, including:

Mood disorders such as depression or bipolar.
Anxiety disorders.
Suicidal ideation, or attempted suicide.
Personality disorders.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
Substance use disorders.
Other addictive and impulse control disorders.

Treatment for sex addiction

Compulsive sexual behaviour has a propensity to escalate over time and seeking help can feel embarrassing and demoralising. A trained professional will be discreet and not judge.

It is a good idea to ask for help, if you feel your behaviour has gotten out of control, if it is harmful to you, or hurting those around you.

If you think you need help, ask yourself the following questions:

Am I struggling to manage my sexual impulses?
Am I disgusted or appalled by my behaviour?
Am I hiding or being dishonest about my sexual activities?
Is my sexual behaviour impacting on other areas of my life? (Relationships, health, hobbies, work.)

Addiction rehab clinic in Ibiza, Spain

Here at our luxury residential rehabilitation centre, set on the beautiful Spanish island of Ibiza, we offer a range of therapies for the treatment of alcoholism, process and substance addiction. We also treat anxiety, depression, trauma, and other conditions affecting mental health.

Set on a 13-hectare private estate, which provides ample space for walking, relaxation, and contemplation, it is the ideal place for peace, quiet, and anonymity.

We have a highly qualified team with many years of experience in mental health therapy and care. Our highly qualified, international team offers treatment in several languages, including English, Spanish, French and Italian.

With our “Full Bespoke Care Programme”, clients have exclusive access to “The Casita”. A standalone 2-bedroom house, separate from the main property, with its own kitchen, living-room, front and back terraces. Ideal for complete privacy; or for anyone requiring additional staff or security.

For details on all the treatment programmes available, plus information on admissions, contact sharon@ibizacalm.com

For free information and advice on issues related to mental health and addiction check out the following websites:

Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). A worldwide 12-step fellowship for individuals who have a problem with alcohol. Anyone with a desire to stop drinking is welcome. https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk

Narcotics Anonymous (NA). Is a global non-profit fellowship, a community of people who support each other to achieve and maintain a drug free life. https://ukna.org

Al-Anon. A mutual peer-support programme for people whose lives have been affected by someone elses drinking.  https://al-anonuk.org.uk

Mind. A registered charity in England, which offers information, advice, local services and support, for those individuals and family members struggling with a mental health condition.  https://www.mind.org.uk

Mental Health Foundation. A UK charity that provides individuals with advice and resources related to mental health. https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk

BEAT. The UKs eating disorder charity that provides information and support for those affected by an eating disorder. https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk